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1-800-Flowers and other online services like FTD and teleflora are at best a waste of money.  All they do is take your order, skim a fee off the top, and call a local florist to place the order.  The local florist loses the fee.

1-800-Flowers silently cancelled my Mother’s Day order.  They didn’t bother to tell me.  On their web site, when I logged in and checked my order, it said something like “Due to high order volume, no status is available.”   Later, the status changed to cancelled, with no explanation.  They never sent an email or text to let me know there was a problem.  I contacted customer service, and basically got blown off.  You can read the chat log below.

Like a lot of people have said things like, “In our final analysis, we think the best value for your money– with the least frustration- is to call a local florist and order your flowers directly.“  Yeah, I second that.  Better for you, better for the florist.

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bloodhound@uscentcom:$whereis osama
osama:
bloodhound@uscentcom:$locate osama
bloodhound@uscentcom:$find /home/afganistan/tribal_areas -name osama
bloodhound@uscentcom:$find /home/afganistan/cave -name osama
bloodhound@uscentcom:$find /home/afganistan/mountains/ -name osama
bloodhound@uscentcom:$find /home/pakistan/tribal_areas/ -name osama
bloodhound@uscentcom:$find /home/pakistan/border_areas/ -name osama
bloodhound@uscentcom:$find /home/pakistan/abbottabad/ -name osama
/home/pakistan/abbottabad/luxury_mansion/osama
bloodhound@uscentcom:$ls -al /home/pakistan/abbottabad/luxury_mansion/osama
total 16
drwxr-xr-x 2 osama al-Qaeda 4096 2010-05-03 21:49 .
drwxr-xr-x 3 root  root     4096 2010-05-03 21:26 ..
lrwxrwxrwx 1 osama al-Qaeda   24 2010-05-03 21:41 friends -> /home/afganistan/taliban
lrwxrwxrwx 1 osama al-Qaeda   18 2010-05-03 21:49 partners -> /home/pakistan/isi
-rw-r--r-- 1 osama al-Qaeda  149 2010-05-03 21:28 .plan
-rw-r--r-- 1 osama al-Qaeda    9 2010-05-03 21:29 .project
bloodhound@uscentcom:$exec seal_team_six
seal_team_six@uscentcom:$id osama
uid=1003(osama) gid=1003(al-Qaeda) groups=1003(al-Qaeda)
seal_team_six@uscentcom:$finger osama
Login: osama                      Name: Osama bin Laden
Directory: /home/pakistan/abbottabad/luxury_mansion/osama    Shell: /bin/sh
Last login Tue May  2 21:31 (PDT) on pts/2 from localhost
Mail last read Tue May  2 21:30 2011 (PDT)
Project:
Al-Qaeda
Plan:
"I'm fighting so I can die a martyr and go to heaven to meet God.
Our fight now is against the Americans."
As quoted by Al-Quds Al-Arabi newspaper
seal_team_six@uscentcom:$userdel --force --remove osama
seal_team_six@uscentcom:$rm -rf /home/pakistan/abbottabad/luxury_mansion/osama
seal_team_six@uscentcom:$id osama
id: osama: No such user
seal_team_six@uscentcom:$ls -al ~osama
ls: cannot access ~osama: No such file or directory
seal_team_six@uscentcom:$ls -al /home/pakistan/abbottabad/luxury_mansion
total 8
drwxr-xr-x 2 root root 4096 2010-05-02 22:04 .
drwxr-xr-x 3 root root 4096 2010-05-02 21:25 ..
seal_team_six@uscentcom:$wall
Geronimo-E KIA

Broadcast Message from seal_team_six@uscentcom
 (/dev/pts/0) at 22:28 ...

Geronimo-E KIA

seal_team_six@uscentcom:$cd /home/virginia/nas_oceana/dam_neck_annex
seal_team_six@uscentcom:$clean weapons
seal_team_six@uscentcom:$drink beer


Copyright (C) 2011 by Gregory L. Porter